Repentance in Forgiveness

Christians are called to forgive extensively (Matthew 18: 21-22). Should they forgive those who do not apologize for their offense? What does the Bible teach about forgiveness?

Gladys Staines, wife and mother of the brutally burnt husband and sons, stated, "I have forgiven the killers and have no bitterness … God in Christ has forgiven me and expects His followers to do the same.” ¹ Here is a case of forgiveness where the offenders did not repent of their sin. Yet, can Christian parents forgive the killers of their brutally murdered child? I think they would struggle to forgive them – with or without repentance. Forgiveness isn’t an easy task.

Sin, repentance and punishment are the main factors involved in forgiveness. The Bible seems to state that God forgives a man under three conditions. The concern, however, is that these three conditions contradict each other:

(1) When a sinner repents of his sin (Luke 13: 3; Acts 2: 38, 8: 22 et al.).

(2) When a sinner forgives the one who sinned against him (Matthew 6: 12).

(3) When the sinner remains unrepentant (Luke 23: 34; Acts 7: 60).

Forgiving a repentant sinner is not difficult to comprehend. But (2) and (3) are difficult to comprehend. One could misinterpret the Lord’s prayer thinking God would forgive an unrepentant sinner who forgives the one who sinned against him. E.g. I don’t repent of my sins to God. But I have forgiven a person who sinned against me. Should I now expect God to forgive me – an unrepentant sinner? Is God’s forgiveness based on my forgiveness of another’s sin against me or on my repentance to God? This is the doctrinal knot we should untangle. But answering (3) would untangle the doctrinal knot of (2). If we can infer that God does not forgive an unrepentant sinner, then it would preclude every other situation that seems to indicate that God forgives an unrepentant sinner.

Does God forgive an unrepentant sinner?

Although Christ and Stephen appealed to God for the forgiveness of their enemies, the Bible does not explicitly state that God forgave their enemies. When the Bible isn’t explicit, doctrine should not be dogmatic. Thus we can reasonably infer that God does not forgive an unrepentant sinner.

However, there is a tricky situation to decrypt. Why did the Lord Jesus (God incarnate) appeal to God the Father when HE knew (through HIS omniscience) that God wouldn’t forgive an unrepentant sinner? Did Christ utter this statement meaninglessly? No! I think Christ would have forgiven those who perpetrated evil against HIM from the perspective of HIS humanity and not HIS divinity.² (Divine forgiveness is different from human forgiveness.³) Christ forgave an unrepentant sinner to teach an invaluable lesson to mankind that those harmed could forgive the sinners, so to love them, even if they remain unrepentant. So Christ’s appeal to God does not offer us a sound proof that God forgives an unrepentant sinner. 

Would God forgive an unrepentant sinner who forgives the one who sinned against him? If this be true, we must resolve two problems about our understanding of God:

1. Is God sovereign? Is God’s forgiveness predicated on man’s forgiveness (of another)? Doesn’t God have an ability to act independently? Or is man wiser than God?

2. God cannot contradict HIMSELF. The Bible explicitly states that God forgives a repentant sinner. But if the same Bible also states that God forgives an unrepentant sinner, then it amounts to God contradicting HIMSELF i.e. God is a liar.

The sovereign God’s actions cannot be based on man, unless HE so wills it. God will not state that forgiveness of sins is only through repentance, and in the same breath forgive those who remain unrepentant.

Verses that imply a doctrine ought to be interpreted in light of the verses where the doctrine is outlined explicitly (demanding repentance for forgiveness of sins). One of the fundamental principles for biblical hermeneutic is “Sacred Scripture is its own interpreter.”

Furthermore, if God forgives an unrepentant sinner, we need to contend with more problems, for instance:

1. The many passages that teach forgiveness through repentance should be misinterpreted by employing a faulty hermeneutic.

2. Repentance loses its existence and meaning. (There is no need to repent to God.)

3. Promotes willful disobedience of man against a holy God. What holds me back from sinning willfully, if I am forgiven though being unrepentant?

Hence I submit that God will not forgive an unrepentant sinner. Therefore, we summarize as follows:

1. God forgives a repentant sinner; the forgiven person will not be punished.

2. God does not forgive an unrepentant sinner; the unforgiven person will be punished.

3. The sinner in the Lord’s prayer prays for forgiveness of his sins (repents) primarily.⁴ So God would forgive this sinner, since he repented of his sins.

Thus, from the divine perspective, repentance is necessary for forgiveness. If repentance is necessary for God to forgive man, how should man practice forgiveness in a human relationship? Asking a few leading questions could provide us with answers:

1. Should man forgive only those who repent? If the answer to this is ‘no,’ then how can love be ignited inside a broken relationship?

2. How do we identify a genuine repentance from false?

When a person repents of his sins, we ought to forgive (Luke 17: 3-4). We should also forgive an unrepentant sinner for love to be reestablished and for hatred and bitterness to disappear. This is in obedience to God’s command to love our neighbor as Christ loves us (John 13:34; cf. Hosea 3:1). A model for this forgiveness is provided by Hosea, Christ and Stephen. We should not speak maliciously or take revenge of any form or size against the one who wronged us. But restoration of relationship is only predicated on genuine repentance (cf. Hosea 3: 3). If someone has wronged me and remains unrepentant, I should forgive and not harbor bitterness or hatred. But unless this person genuinely repents, I cannot resume a perfectly normal relationship!⁵ By forgiving an unrepentant sinner, I am paving way for love to be reestablished in the relationship. Genuine repentance paves way for restoration of a normal relationship.

Distinguishing genuine from false repentance consumes time. The blessed Holy Spirit will guide us through life situations to recognize the genuineness of repentance. If someone has falsely accused me and eventually repents of that sin, I will definitely resume a normal relationship. After some time and in a similar situation, if this person makes another false accusation against me, it would prove that his/her repentance was false.

Forgiveness ought to proceed from the intrinsic to the extrinsic - from the heart to the mouth. It is quite possible to say that we have forgiven the perpetrator of evil, but to forgive the person from the heart is another spiritual battle that needs to be won through prayer (for forgiveness does not come easy to many). From this perspective, one cannot take Gladys’ words for granted, but only God knows the true state of a human heart. However, by issuing a statement that she has forgiven the killers, Gladys Staines did something extraordinary which an ordinary Christian would find very difficult to do. In Christian life, we ought to take small steps to monumental spiritual achievements.

To conclude, I submit the following:

1. God forgives a repentant sinner. HE does not forgive an unrepentant sinner.

2. A Christian ought to forgive the one who repents of his sin.

3. Even if the offender remains unrepentant, the Christian ought to forgive him for love to be reestablished in that relationship.⁶ However, restoration of a normal relationship is predicated on a genuine repentance. (Christian parents can forgive the killers, through prayer, and by God’s power.)

I bless you in the name of our Lord. Amen.

References & Notes:

Repentance: A heartfelt sorrow for sin, a renouncing of it, and a sincere commitment to forsake it and walk in obedience to Christ. (Wayne Grudem, Systematic Theology, p1253.)

¹ http://www.hindu.com/2003/09/23/stories/2003092305471200.htm

²  My assumption is based on the explicit assertion of the Bible that God does not forgive an unrepentant sinner. Understanding of “Incarnation” or “hypostatic union” is mandatory to understanding the concept of Christ’s humanity and divinity in one hypostasis.

³ The divine forgiveness is an instance where the perfect God forgives an imperfect human. God forgives man from within HIS attribute of omniscience and eternality. Human forgiveness is from the perspectives of a temporal and an inadequate knowledge. This subject should be examined in isolation and not within the scope of this blog.

⁴ Will God not forgive a man who genuinely repents of his sins to HIM, but hasn’t forgiven his debtor? We could consider this subject at a later point in time.

⁵ The unrepentant man would not have changed his offensive / sinful ways. He will continue in his sinful ways.

⁶ In God’s perspective, this could be correlated to the “common grace” of God.