Thursday, September 1, 2016

Why Are There Many Young & Unmarried Christian Women?

            The presence of young & unmarried Christian women is significant, for confusion could reign in the minds of some Christians as to why God has allowed this cruel predicament of the presence of young and unmarried Christian women.

            On the one hand, there are unmarried / single Christian women. On the other hand, the Bible advises the young single women to marry, “Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” (1 Corinthians 7: 8-9, NIV, Emphasis Mine.).

            If the Bible mandates unmarried women to marry, and if there are unmarried women who fail to find a suitable man, does this not mean that the sovereign God has failed to provide a suitable man for this unmarried woman? The alternate situation to this predicament is that God did bring suitable Christian men into the domain of unmarried Christian women, but they either failed to recognize or consciously rejected those men.

            Even if the latter reality (of the woman consciously rejecting men brought into her domain) were to be true, the blame cannot merely reside in the domain of the unmarried Christian women. Men, who are endowed with freewill, whom God brought into the domain of the unmarried Christian woman, could have rejected the unmarried Christian woman for reasons best known to them. So the blame cannot be ascribed to the unmarried Christian woman.  

            Consequently, when the woman in contention remains unmarried, it seems that God has either failed or has allowed man’s freewill to reign supreme while the woman burns inwardly with the passion to marry.

            So another important question we need to ask is “Who is at fault for the presence of unmarried Christian women? (Wo)Men or God?”

            Two factors are in play here: God’s sovereignty and man’s freewill. Let us consider the freewill aspect first.

            The presence of unmarried Christian women implies the employment of freewill of either the man or the woman to sustain the singleness of the woman. In other words, the man or the woman could have freely rejected the marriage proposals of the opposite sex. In this case, man’s freewill reigns supreme over God’s sovereignty.

            But man’s freewill cannot be supreme to God’s sovereignty, for if this is factual, then God cannot be sovereign. However, God, as greatest conceivable being, ought to be sovereign. We ought to concede this aspect.

            In the case of the unmarried Christian woman, is man’s freewill supreme to God’s sovereignty? This is an easier predicament to resolve, for the sovereign God may have allowed man to employ his freewill to reject the woman or the vice versa. Since God allows man to freely accept or reject the woman, God’s sovereignty remains unscathed (allows being the operative word). 

            But establishing God’s sovereignty still does not resolve the reason behind the presence of unmarried Christian women. The question, “Has God failed to provide a suitable man to the unmarried Christian woman?” still remains in play.

            If the unmarried Christian woman remains unmarried (rejection notwithstanding), then it seems that God has failed to provide this woman with a suitable man. But God cannot fail! Failure belittles God.

            If failure could be attributed to God, then God cannot be the greatest conceivable being. Since, God is the greatest conceivable being and since God cannot fail, there should be an alternate situation that could have contributed to the presence of unmarried Christian woman.

            This conundrum could be reconciled through this alternate situation. God, for some reason unknown to us, would have not chosen to establish HIS sovereignty to resolve the predicament of this unmarried Christian woman situation. Although God chooses not to establish HIS sovereignty, HE, as a gracious, loving and a good God, would not allow the woman to burn inwardly in her passions. God’s power is always available to the woman to sustain her unmarried condition.

            Therefore, the answer to the question, “Who is at fault for the presence of unmarried Christian women? (Wo)Men or God?” is this. The fault resides neither with God nor the unmarried Christian woman.

            Given the presence of unmitigated evil in this world, the unmarried woman may have just exercised utmost caution in evaluating her future husband. Her caution is valid, for many horror stories of failed relationships before the marriage and separation and divorces in marriages provokes the woman into being extra-cautious.

            The woman who rejects men sent by God remains a victim of the design of this world, wherein the potential of evil to ruin marriages is enormous. Hence, the unmarried Christian women ought to be viewed with utmost grace.

            The unmarried Christian women cannot be blamed at any cost.

            So “Why Are There Many Young & Unmarried Christian Women?” In some instances, family situations, such as taking care of ailing parents, could have contributed to the singleness of Christian women. Previously failed relationships could also be the cause for the presence of unmarried Christian women. Hence, women could be extra-cautious while choosing their husbands (and they cannot be blamed for this situation). On the other hand, single and eligible Christian men could have rejected the proposals of the women rendering her to the domain of singleness. Hence, this by no means implies an absence of suitable Christian men.

            What then is the destiny of the unmarried Christian woman?

            Age notwithstanding, marriage could most surely be on the cards for the woman. So patience is a virtue that the Christian woman should develop. Since patience is the fruit of the Holy Spirit, the Christian woman ought to remain in Christ to be patient and not be bitter about her condition.

            In other instances, marriage may not be on the cards for the unmarried Christian woman. Given such a situation, the unmarried Christian woman needs the power of God to remain single and not burnout in her passions, for the power to remain single comes only from God (cf. Matthew 19:11). Hence she has to remain in Christ to be holy, sane and single.

            Last but not the least, the Bible offers an intriguing counsel and an existential reality. First, the existential reality reiterated by the Bible is the presence of troubles in marriage, “But those who marry will face many troubles in this life” (1 Corinthians 7: 28b, NIV). Being unmarried or single is one surefire way to escape the troubles that a marriage is to offer.

            Lastly, the intriguing counsel offered by the Bible to the unmarried women is to devote herself totally to God, “I want you to live as free of complications as possible. When you’re unmarried, you’re free to concentrate on simply pleasing the Master. Marriage involves you in all the nuts and bolts of domestic life and in wanting to please your spouse, leading to so many more demands on your attention. The time and energy that married people spend on caring for and nurturing each other, the unmarried can spend in becoming whole and holy instruments of God. I’m trying to be helpful and make it as easy as possible for you, not make things harder. All I want is for you to be able to develop a way of life in which you can spend plenty of time together with the Master without a lot of distractions.” (1 Corinthians 7: 32-35, MSG).

            Please add this concern to your existing prayer points. Please pray for unmarried Christian women. May the Lord’s power and peace be upon them, “Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.” (Ephesians 3: 20, NIV).  



Very nicely explained. It touched me as my sister is of marriageable age but we have still not been able to find a suitable match for her. Praying for her.

Raj Richard said...

Thank you for taking time off to express your thoughts on my blog, brother. I praise God that he used me as an instrument to bless you.

I pray that your sister would find a suitable man, and I pray this in Christ's name, Amen.