C’mon Let A Christian Marry A Non-Christian????

            What’s wrong if a Christian marries a non-christian? If they marry, would their marriage be disastrous or would their children hate Christianity?

            A foundational verse quoted in this context is “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers…” (2 Corinthians 6: 14). A common faith in Christ is at the heart of a Christian marriage, they say.

            This is the backdrop. Conventional Christian teaching mandates Christians to NOT MARRY non-christians. If a Christian marries a non-christian, by implication, their marriage would be sinful and disastrous [1].

            This is the puzzle. Should a marriage between a Christian man & woman entail a healthy marriage?

            No! A marriage between a Christian man and a woman need not necessarily entail a healthy marriage.

            Why?

            Scores of non-christian marriages are healthy and successful. If non-christian marriages are successful, the condition that Christians ought to marry Christians could be discarded.

            The reality of many healthy, successful and strong non-christian marriages should remind Christians that the nametag “Christianity” does not unconsciously render a Christian marriage healthy.

            Committed religious belief, not necessarily Christianity, enables strong and successful marriages.  

            But, atheists, who deny God, also enjoy healthy marriages. So it is reasonable to conclude that committed irreligiosity does enable healthy marriages.

            Examine this situation from the perspective of divorce in Christian marriages. Scores of divorces and separations in Christian marriages testify that a Christian marriage could be disastrous.

            There are make-believe Christian marriages (that pretend as successful marriages). The husband and wife may not love each other but would merely be married for the sake of being married or may not talk to each other inside their homes. They may not share the same bed or could lead separate lives inside their home all the while posturing perfection in their marriage.

            Au contraire, Christians have married non-christians from time immemorial. Many such marriages are successful and healthy. Healthy marriages between Christians and non-christians serve as a testimony to the fact that a marriage between a Christian and a non-christian need not be disastrous.

            Therefore, isn’t a teaching that two Christians ought to marry for a healthy marriage an unacceptable teaching that is incoherent with the existential reality?

            We are not done! Observe this situation from another perspective.

            Very few Christians read their Bible daily. A recent study in America confirms that only 9% of Americans read their Bible daily [2]. This could very well be a fact in other countries as well.

            So if two Christians, who have not read their Bible or who do not love the Lord, get married, what are the chances that their marriage would be successful? Unless a conversion occurs during the marriage, their marriage should not survive according to the conventional Christian teaching. 

            But if their marriage is successful, it is not because of their religiosity. There never was any religiosity in them. Their marital success could be for the same reasons as to why marriages between atheists are successful!

            The problem would compound if one Christian partner loves the Lord dearly but the other Christian spouse is lukewarm or cold towards Christ. This is another favorable situation for potential marriage problems.

            Based on the existential realities of non-christian (atheists included) and even certain Christian marriages, a conclusion that a marriage between two Christians need not necessarily entail a healthy and successful marriage is valid.

            Therefore, the conventional Christian teaching that a Christian should marry another Christian for a healthy marriage could be rendered null and void.

            What if a sincere Christian who longs to get married cannot locate a Christian partner? What if this Christian is attracted to an opposite-sex-non-christian with admirable qualities worthy of a perfect fit as his/her soulmate? 

            What would be a sound biblical advice to this Christian? Would you advise him/her to marry the non-christian he /she is attracted to?

            “Focus on the Family,” an acclaimed Christian ministry that strives to strengthen a Christian marriage, qualify their teaching that a marriage between two Christians is more likely to be healthy through these words, “Many people who seriously practice a traditional religious faith – be it Christian or other – have a divorce rate markedly lower than the general population. The factor making the most difference is religious commitment and practice…Couples who regularly practice any combination of serious religious behaviors and attitudes…enjoy significantly lower divorce rates than mere church members, the general public and unbelievers…

            …Saying you believe something or merely belonging to a church, unsurprisingly, does little for marriage. But the more you are involved in the actual practice of your faith in real ways – through submitting yourself to a serious body of believers, learning regularly from scripture, being in communion with God though prayer individually and with your spouse and children, and having friends and family around us who challenge us to take our marriage’s seriously – the greater difference this makes in strengthening both the quality and longevity of our marriages. Faith does matter and the leading sociologists of family and religion tell us so”[3] (Emphasis Mine).      

            Therefore, a mere marriage between two Christians is surely not a recipe for a successful marriage.

            A Christian married to a non-christian could enjoy a healthy marriage from a worldly sense, but certainly not from a spiritual sense. When a Christian marries a non-christian, it is the Christian who would love the Lord. The non-christian spouse would not love the Lord Jesus. Hence this marriage could be easily damaged or broken by the Satan (cf. Ecclesiastes 4: 12). 

            A Christian marriage ought not to achieve the ordinary worldly success other marriages achieve; it ought to achieve greater spiritual success.

            Greater spiritual success in a Christian marriage gains precedence because Satan is active against a Christian marriage. The greater spiritual success for a Christian marriage is to individually and collectively grow in the Lord so to survive storms – small and large, and significantly lead the children to continuously love the Lord. Such a Christian marriage will glorify God.  

            To achieve greater spiritual success, the Christian family should love the Lord Jesus through the assimilation of HIS Word, love and submission to their spouse as Christ loved the church and as the church submits to Christ, and communion with fellow Christians. This is a surefire recipe for a greater spiritual success in a Christian marriage.

            There is greater power in a Christian marriage when both the husband and the wife love the Lord dearly, thus obey and glorify God through the ups and downs of the marriage. When they love the Lord dearly and are in constant communion with Christ, their marriage would be unbreakable.

            Finally, the disclaimer.

            This post is not to encourage Christians to marry non-Christians. It is wise to err on the side of caution than not.

            So a Christ-loving Christian ought to marry another Christ-loving Christian to achieve the greater spiritual success.

Endnotes:

[1] Every born-again Christian is a sinner. But he/she has been saved by the grace of God through faith in Christ. So a Christian married to a non-christian, although is a practicing sinner, will gain eternal life.

[2]http://www.raac.iupui.edu/files/2713/9413/8354/Bible_in_American_Life_Report_March_6_2014.pdf

[3] http://www.focusonthefamily.com/about_us/focus-findings/marriage/divorce-rate-in-the-church-as-high-as-the-world.aspx 

Jesus Drank Wine, So Could Christians Drink Alcohol?

            Christ drank wine from the Passover cup (Mark 14: 23) and possibly otherwise (Luke 7: 33-34). Christ’s first miracle – to turn water into wine – implied that HE did not object to drinking of wine. Then the Bible mandates Christians to be Christlike [1].

            Some Christians attribute their habit of drinking to Christ. They argue that since Christ drank wine, they could drink too. Some extend this argument when they ask, isn’t it Christlikeness that Christians are to focus on, if so, why not drink? Thus the Christian who seeks to consume alcoholic beverages justifies his temptation (or his desire) through Christ.

            Within this context, there are two groups in Christianity. One group argues that Christ did not drink wine except from the Passover cup. This group believes in total abstinence, which is that the believers should not drink. Others think that since Christ drank wine, they could adopt a more tolerant or a rather validating attitude towards moderate drinking.

            Dr. Norman Geisler, an advocate of total abstinence, emphasized that during biblical times, beer and wine were consumed in moderation. More importantly, they were diluted (3 parts water and 1 part wine), and hence did not cause intoxication while consumed in moderation. In comparison, today’s beer and wine are categorized as strong drinks that are condemned by the Bible. [2]

            This article is not about whether Christ drank wine or not or whether moderate drinking is a sin or not, but it’s about whether a Christian could use Christ as a means to drink alcohol. Hence, let’s concede that Christ may have consumed wine although HE certainly would not have been drunk with wine. Drunkenness is a sin whereas Christ was sinless.   

            When a Christian justifies his drinking, even in moderation, through Christ’s consumption of wine, two problems emerge to the forefront:

            Problem #1: Is this Christian more in love with alcohol than Christ?

            Evidently, those who consume alcohol love alcohol. Why would they drink alcohol, if they do not like / love it?

            Anyone who maintains that they do not love alcohol but nevertheless consume it are either addicted to alcohol or compelled to drink because of social or business obligation. Bible denounces addiction. Those who detest alcohol would not drink it or could find gazillion ways and means to evade drinking alcohol, if they so want to.

            Significantly, a Christian is to love Christ and hence follow HIM all through his life. In other words, because he loves the Lord Jesus, the Christian would ardently desire to obey and follow Christ.

            But a Christian who justifies his desire to drink alcohol through Christ could be more in love with alcohol than Christ. His desperation for alcohol alludes to this fact. If this is true, then anyone who loves Christ less, sins against God, for he / she violates the greatest commandment, which is to love the Lord our God with all our life.

            Importantly, a Christian who justifies his drinking through Christ is treading dangerous waters. Anyone who uses the Lord as a means to fulfill his / her carnal desire is playing losing games with God, the supreme judge, who by virtue of knowing man’s heart, will judge him / her for every perverted desire (cf. Matthew 12: 36).

               Problem #2: If a Christian justifies his drinking through Christ, then would he / she do all that Christ did (i.e. the physical activities) or are they merely looking to be preferential in their obedience to Christ? 

            Bear with me now; some of the questions that I am going to raise may appear to be as retarded. But such is the state of justification of drinking through Christ.

            For instance, Christ did not have a place of his own (cf. Luke 9: 58), so are we not called to own a home or to live in a particular location but keep moving from one location to another all through our lifetime?

            Christ died [resurrected and ascended into heaven] at a fairly young age of 33, so are we to die young?

            Christ fasted 40 days and 40 nights, so are we to fast similarly?

            Christ drove out business people from the temple, so are we to wield that authority to weed out unholy business from the church of Jesus Christ today?

            Similarly, Christ died for the sake of our sins, so are we to die for the sake of other’s sins?

            Or are we to remain single and advocate singleness just because Christ was not married; albeit by contradicting the Bible that endorses a heterosexual marriage?

            We cannot literally do all that Christ did or did not do.

            Christ is God. HE came for a specific purpose, which was to die for the sake of man to save him of his sins, so whatever HE did was towards the purpose of redemption. 

            Christlikeness is not to perform the identical physical activities that Christ performed. Christlikeness is to possess an attitude similar to that of Christ in loving, forgiving, sacrificing our carnal desires for the sake of the kingdom etc.

            Significantly, Christlikeness is achieved by the inhabitation of the Lord Jesus in each believer – Christ in us, the hope of glory (cf. Colossians 1: 27). A believer who is Christlike will never contradict Christ; rather perfectly synchronize with HIM.

            Therefore, the man who strives to justify his drinking to Christ will only find himself contradicting with the Lord, for HE cannot do everything the Lord did or did not do. So he would find himself in a deeper dungeon. The man who uses Christ as a means to justify his drinking, sins against the Lord and will have only himself to blame and not anyone else.

            We are not done yet.

            Does moderate drinking benefit us?

            Some may argue that moderate drinking does not interfere with their life or their spirituality, and hence could be continued. Unfortunately recent scientific discoveries seem to disprove this notion.

            National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism in 2004 specified that moderate drinking leads to short term health damages [3]. If moderate drinking damages health - be it short or long term - should it not be avoided?

            A paper published in Neuroscience in 2012 indicated the harmful effects of moderate drinking. These scientists concluded that moderate drinking could have profound effects on the structural plasticity of the adult brain because the number of cells produced in the brain was reduced by 40% [4].

            Another paper published in the British Medical Journal in 2014 discovered that moderate drinking (equivalent to less than 500 ml of beer or 2 small glasses of wine a day) is detrimental to health [5]. These scientists concluded that the lesser our alcohol consumption, the better would be our cardiovascular health.

            Hence, we could enjoy the best of cardiovascular health if we totally abstain from drinking.

            So whether Christ drank or not is a moot point; utterly irrelevant to whether we should drink or not. If we agree that our motive in life is to remain safe and secure, then the safest bet for us then is to abstain from drinking. 

Endnotes:

[1] 1 John 2: 6; Romans 8: 29; Ephesians 4: 13; 1 Corinthians 1: 11; Philippians 2: 5, 3:10 etc.

[2] https://criswell.files.wordpress.com/2008/04/ctrgeislerformatted.pdf

[3] http://pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/aa63/aa63.htm

[4] http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0306452212008457

&

http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2012/10/study-even-moderate-drinking-impairs-brain-cell-formation/264129/

[5] http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2688161/Moderate-drinking-IS-bad-health-Just-

two-glasses-wine-day-cause-problems.html

&

http://www.webmd.com/heart-disease/news/20140711/a-little-alcohol-may-not-be-good-for-your-heart-after-all