I wonder if there
are moments when Christians, as disciples of Christ, are ashamed to be called
HIS disciples? I most surely do, which I will describe in this short essay.
A few days ago
the doctor dilated my pupils after which my eyes were to be closed for 45
minutes. It was then I reaffirmed to myself that I preferred sight over
blindness! My temporary blindness increased my sympathy and respect
for the blind who are living a grateful life! The great hymn writer Fanny
Crosby was blinded within two months after her birth. Her response to those who
sympathized with her was, “Do you know
that if at birth I had been able to make one petition, it would have been that
I was born blind? …Because when I get to heaven, the first face that shall ever
gladden my sight will be that of my Savior.” 1 I am unsure if I
would have lived such a grateful life, let alone make that petition. I am surely
ashamed of myself!
If you relate
with me, then grappling with reasons behind this predicament reveals that we
are our first enemy. First, we offer preeminence to our selfish desires (e.g. I
ought not to be blind). Second, while exalting our selfish desires, we slander
God (that God should not have allowed blindness upon me). The reason we sincerely
doubt if we will ever respond as Fanny Crosby is because we sincerely believe
that we will either continually live thinking that God has wronged us or live a
sad life. Let me elaborate. (Disclaimer: Horrendous physical ailments
[blindness, cancer etc.] are much worse than any emotional pain [loss of a
loved one, rape, false accusation etc.]).
In moments of
suffering we respond with, “Why me, Lord?” Sometimes we respond differently by
remaining sad through our suffering. There are hidden assumptions in these
responses, which are:
(1) Suffering
is an unjust punishment: The
Bible does not consider suffering as only a punishment (cf. Isaiah 43:2; John
16:33; 2 Corinthians 4: 8-10; 2 Timothy 3: 12; 1 Peter 4: 12-13 et al.). In
fact, the Bible is replete with facts of God’s people undergoing extreme
suffering. So suffering is not only a punishment, let alone being unjust.
(2) I am good:
Thinking of us as good implies an anticipation of good rewards and
not painful rewards. Not only is this transactional Christianity (I
am-doing-good-so-God-should-only-give-me-good), but this is a very high thought
of oneself, either borderline of pride or smacks of pride. Pride is a sin
(Proverbs 21: 4).
(3) I have
not sinned: Once again this is a high thought of oneself. This is a false
assumption for there is no one who is righteous and all have sinned and fallen
short of God’s glory (Psalm 14: 1-3; Romans 3: 10, 23) .
(4) There are
other bad people in this world: This accuses God of bad judgment in
inflicting suffering upon the innocent-me when there are other bad people in this world.
These assumptions
exalt man and denigrate God by disputing HIS wisdom and authority. This is not
to say we should not question God or we should not be sad. But we cannot live in
persistent questioning of God (rebellion) and/or in constant grief.
Constant sadness
and questioning God are spiritually dangerous for it could lead us away from
HIM. Going away from God will result in godlessness.
This real life
story of Mabel was told by William Lane Craig about his former colleague visiting
shut-ins in nursing homes, “…on this particular day I was walking in a hallway
that I had not visited before, looking in vain for a few who were alive enough
to receive a flower and a few words of encouragement. This hallway seemed to
contain some of the worst cases, strapped onto carts or into wheelchairs and
looking completely helpless.
As I neared the
end of this hallway, I saw an old woman strapped in a wheelchair. Her face was
an absolute horror. The empty stare and white pupils of her eyes told me that
she was blind. The large hearing aid over one ear told me that she was almost
deaf. One side of her face was being eaten by cancer. There was a discolored
and running sore covering part of one cheek, and it had pushed her nose to the
side, dropped one eye, and distorted her jaw so that what should have been the
corner of her mouth was the bottom of her mouth. As a consequence, she drooled
constantly. I also learned later that this woman was eighty-nine years old and
that she had been bedridden, blind, nearly deaf, and alone, for twenty-five
years. This was Mabel.
I don't know why
I spoke to her - she looked less likely to respond than most of the people I
saw in that hallway. But I put a flower in her hand and said, ‘Here is a flower
for you. Happy Mother's Day.’ She held the flower up to her face and tried to
smell it, and then she spoke. And much to my surprise, her words, though
somewhat garbled because of her deformity, were obviously produced by a clear
mind. ‘Thank you,’ she said. ‘It's lovely. But can I give it to someone else? I
can't see it, you know, I'm blind.’
I said, ‘Of
course,’ and I pushed her in her chair back down the hallway to a place where I
thought I could find some alert patients. I found one, and I stopped the chair.
Mabel held out the flower and said, ‘Here,
this is from Jesus.’
It was then it began
to dawn on me that this was not an ordinary human being…During one hectic week
of final exams I was frustrated because my mind seemed to be pulled in ten
directions at once with all of the things that I had to think about. The
questions occurred to me, ‘What does Mabel have to think about - hour after
hour, day after day, week after week, not even able to know if it's day or
night?’
I went to her
and asked her, ‘Mabel, what do you think about when you lie here?’ And she
said, ‘I think about my Jesus.’
I sat there and
thought for a moment about the difficulty, for me, of thinking about Jesus for
even five minutes, and I asked her, ‘What do you think about Jesus?’ She
replied slowly and deliberately as I wrote. And this is what she said, ‘I think how good He's been to me. He's
been awfully good to me in my life, you know. I am one of those kind who's
mostly satisfied. Lots of folks would think I'm kind of old-fashioned. But I
don't care. I'd rather have Jesus. He's all the world to me.’
And then Mabel
began to sing an old hymn: ‘Jesus is all
the world to me, My life, my joy, my all. He is my strength from day to day,
Without him I would fall. When I am sad, to him I go, No other one can cheer me
so. When I am sad, He makes me glad. He's my friend.’
Dr. Craig adds, ‘This
is not fiction. Incredible as it may seem a human being really lived like this.
I knew her; how could she do it? Seconds ticked and minutes crawled, and so did
days and weeks and months and years of pain without human company and without
an explanation of why it was all happening. She lay there and sang hymns! How
could she do it! The answer, I think, is Mabel had something you and I don’t have
much of. She had power. Lying there in that bed unable to move, unable to see,
unable to hear, unable to talk to anyone, she had incredible power...’”2
A wonderful and
an awe inspiring life indeed. I can’t imagine living that life if I were to
trade places with Mabel. I am ashamed of myself! It’s not wrong to plead with
God to remove the suffering from our lives, but it’s not right to live a
defeated life in suffering (cf. 2 Corinthians 12: 8-10).
The world we belong
to, longs for, and promotes self-deification. Compared to such wonderful lives of
Fanny Crosby, Mabel and the many, I am ashamed to be a Christian (cf. 1
Corinthians 4:6, 11: 1; Philippians 3: 17; 1 Thessalonians 1:6). I cannot
imagine myself as an equal to such wonderfully lived lives. Fanny Crosby may
have received her share of popularity and rewards, but Mabel had none
whatsoever. Mabel’s gain was 25 years of constant pain. For Mabel, it’s all
about Jesus. It’s not about Mabel, but it’s all about Jesus.
May we long to
live such glorious lives by remaining in Christ always. God will surely empower
those who long for such glorious lives as we usher in the season to remember
our Savior’s birth. Amen.
Endnotes:
1 Fanny Crossby: http://www.christianitytoday.com/ch/131christians/poets/crosby.html
2 Mabel: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jja35hqxBQo
