Would God Lead Me To Marry The Person Of HIS Choice? (Reconciling God’s Will & God’s Knowledge)

            Some marriage related questions in young people are:

            1. I want to marry a girl according to God’s will, but would God will that I marry girl ‘A’ and not girl ‘B’?

            2. Does God know who I would marry?

            3. Would God lead me to marry the boy of HIS choice?   

   

            Consider a young girl’s prayer to God to lead her to marry the boy of HIS choice. This prayer presupposes that God knows which boy is the best possible fit for this young girl. Another presupposition is that God would intervene and lead this young girl to marry the boy of HIS choice.

            The first presupposition is predicated on God’s knowledge and HIS will. The second presupposition is predicated on God’s intervention in human affairs. 

            In order for God to lead a young person to marry according to HIS will, God should know who this young person should marry. Thus there is an overlap between God’s knowledge and God’s will.

            Three broad questions are in order for a greater understanding of God:

            (1) Does God have a specific plan for your life and mine? Is there a God’s will for you and me?

            (2) Would God intervene in my affairs and enable me to do HIS will?

            (3) Would God foreknow our choices?

            First, does God have a specific plan for your life and mine? Most surely, yes! While affirming God’s plan for our lives, Dr. William Lane Craig asserts that we have the freedom to make our choices, and he advises us as to how we could do the will of God:¹

God has promised to guide us along life’s path.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own insight. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. (Proverbs 3.5-6)

A man’s mind plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps. (Proverbs 16.10)…

I suspect that those who oppose the idea of a specific plan of God for your life are reacting against a sort of divine determinism, according to which God moves us about like toy soldiers on His playing field to do His will. But affirming that God has a vocation for your life or a mate in mind for you in no way implies that we are puppets. We have the freedom to do God’s will or not. Even Paul could say, “I was not disobedient to the heavenly vision” through which he received his calling to become an apostle (Acts 26.19). Indeed, the fact that we can miss the will of God for our lives and have to settle for His backup plan underlines the importance of walking in the Spirit, not grieving the Spirit through sin in our lives or quenching the Spirit by failing to respond to His guidance. None of us perfectly lives out God’s plan for his life, but God can still guide you from whatever juncture in life you are at.

            Second, would God intervene in my affairs and enable me to do HIS will? Yes!

            To say that God cannot intervene in human affairs is to question God’s immanence (i.e. God is inactive or not with us) or God’s omniscience (i.e. God does not know what to do) or HIS omnipotence (i.e. God is powerless).

            In the Old Testament, Joseph’s life was a testimony to God’s intervention in human affairs. For example, the instance where Joseph was betrayed by his brothers was a part of God’s plan (cf. Genesis 50:20).

            In the New Testament, Jesus did not idle in a corner, waiting for people to become HIS disciples. He intervened in the lives of HIS disciples when HE called them to become HIS disciples.

            Similarly, the resurrected Lord Jesus intervened in the life of Saul while he was on the road to Damascus (Acts 22: 6ff).

            Today, Jesus appears in dreams and visions. Thus HE intervenes in your life and mine.

            God’s intervention in human affairs is in both tangible and intangible forms. The intangible intervention of God is when HE ministers to us through a gentle whisper (cf. 1 Kings 19:12).

            Third, would God foreknow our choices? I ate cornflakes for breakfast today. Would God have known yesterday that I would eat cornflakes today? Yes, God most certainly knows why, when, and what we would do in the future.

            Does that mean I was determined to eat cornflakes? Did I not choose (based on my free will) to eat cornflakes?

            Just because God knows what we are going to do in the future does not mean that we are determined by God to do them. Dr. William Lane Craig clarifies this predicament:²

If God foreknows everything that happens including our choices then are we really free to do otherwise than as God foreknows we shall do? In other words, does God’s foreknowledge imply a kind of theological fatalism about the future that everything that happens happens necessarily. I argued that that conclusion does not follow so long as we keep clear the distinction between the chronological priority of God’s knowledge to the event foreknown but the logical or explanatory priority of the event foreknown to God’s knowledge. God’s knowledge does not determine the event. If we use the language of “determine” we would say that the event determines what God foreknows.

So when Judas’ betrayal was predicted by Jesus, Judas had the ability not to betray Jesus. He did not have to do it. But if he had chosen not to betray Jesus then God would have foreknown that instead and Jesus would not have predicted it. So we have the ability to do other than as God foreknows that we shall do, but if we were to do other than as he foreknows that we shall do then he would have foreknown something else instead. So long as we keep that distinction between chronological and logical priority clear I think we can see that God’s foreknowing the future doesn’t in any way threaten human freedom.

            Thus, we have the freedom to make choices and God knows our choices.

            So the following is clear:

            (1) God has a specific plan for you and me. That includes education, marriage, occupation et al.

            (2) God could also intervene in our affairs to enable us to do HIS will.

            (3) God knows our choices even before we decide.

            Although God knows our choices, our choices need not necessarily be according to HIS will and pleasure. We are more than capable of disobeying God. When we disobey God, we would not be doing his perfect and pleasing will for our lives. God has blessed us with free will, which enables us to accept or reject God’s plan for our lives.

            So those who pray to ask God to lead them to meet the person of HIS choice should walk in the Spirit and not grieve the Spirit of God by willfully ignoring or sinning against HIM.

            We are not done yet.

            There is a very important learning awaiting us.

            God’s will need not always result in a perfect, joyful and blissful wedded life.

            Remember Hosea? Hosea was a prophet in the Old Testament who was instructed by God to marry a prostitute named Gomer.

            How would Hosea’s married life have been? Not in any way perfect, joyful, or anything close to that.

            Interestingly and not surprisingly, that was God’s will for Hosea!

            In order to comprehend this and more, read Dr. William Lane Craig’s answer to multiple questions regarding marriage: [Emphasis Mine]³

Question:

Hi Dr. Craig,

I'd like to probe you more on your views of divine providence and marriage in particular. I believe you've said that God has a specific marriage partner intended for each person (unless perhaps that person is somehow called to celibacy).

This seems on the surface implausible, as from personal experience from many people there are many apparently suitable partners that one could marry. On your view then, would things somehow not be as good if one marries some other seemingly suitable partner? How could anyone know if the person they married is the 'right' one and that they didn't miss meeting someone better?

Does your view also mean that some people who are single haven't met or won't meet the right person because the partners they were meant to marry married someone else (perhaps because these partners were disobedient to God's direction, or made a mistake etc)?

Answer:

It’s important to note that my claim that God does have in mind a specific person for you to marry…So, of course, His plan for your life will include the monumentally important choice of whom you shall marry. Moreover, God has promised to guide us through life, so that as we walk in the fullness of the Holy Spirit, we shall not wander from the plan He has for us.

Now you say such a doctrine is prima facie “implausible.” Why? Because based on experience there seem to be “many apparently suitable partners that one could marry.” This objection evinces a drastic misunderstanding of what I affirmed. I have no doubt that there are many people you might marry who would be wonderful partners, resulting in a fulfilling and God-honoring marriage. But that fact is in no way inconsistent with the claim that God has in mind one specific person He wants you to marry.

What underlies your objection is, I think, the assumption that God’s only grounds for preferring one person rather than another is suitability. That seems obviously false. Think, for example, of the children you will beget and their progeny and theirs, on and on into the future. Your descendants are utterly unique. The course of world history shifts based on the person you marry in ways that are beyond our discernment.

Moreover, —and here I raise a radical thought—suppose God wants you to marry someone who is not well-suited to you…we have a natural tendency to think that God’s purpose for human life is to make us happy. But on the Christian view that is not true. The Bible says, “This is the will of God, your sanctification” (I Thessalonians 4.3). You may be brought more into conformity to the character of Christ by suffering in a marriage that is not what you dreamed it would be. God commanded Hosea to marry a prostitute (Hosea 1.2)! We’re all broken people psychologically, and God may work in you or your spouse’s life through each other’s shortcomings, as you both learn to forbear and forgive. God has much wider things to achieve in this world than our happiness, and the partner He picks for you will be the person with whom you can best advance the interests of His kingdom.

So on my view, would things not be as “good” if you were to disobey God’s will and marry the wrong person? That depends on what you mean by “good.” I suspect you mean that if you disobeyed God, would your marriage be less happy and fulfilling? Based on what I’ve just said, the answer is obviously, not necessarily! But the overall goodness of the world or the interests of God’s kingdom may well be impaired by such a disobedient choice.

“How could anyone know if the person they married is the 'right' one and that they didn't miss meeting someone better?” We have the confidence that as we walk in the power of the Holy Spirit, God will guide our steps. So we need to focus on being the right person ourselves rather than on finding the right person. Certainty is never possible, but there’s no need to worry: just focus on being an obedient, Sprit-filled Christian and trust Him to lead you.

With respect to your last question, “Does your view also mean that some people who are single haven't met or won't meet the right person because the partners they were meant to marry married someone else (perhaps because these partners were disobedient to God's direction, or made a mistake etc)?”, keep in mind that God via His middle knowledge knew of that person’s disobedience in advance and so has a plan for your life that takes that into account. You might have similarly asked, “What if the person God intended for me to marry was never born because her parents were disobedient and failed to conceive her?” We needn’t rack our brains about such dizzying scenarios because God knew that such a person would not be born and so would not be His intended will for you. Similarly, a person who, had she been obedient, would have been God’s intended for you is not in fact God’s intended precisely because she was disobedient.

The bottom line is: don’t focus on finding the right person; focus on becoming the right person.

Endnotes:

¹https://www.reasonablefaith.org/writings/question-answer/guidance-and-gods-plan/

²https://www.reasonablefaith.org/podcasts/defenders-podcast-series-3/s3-doctrine-of-god-attributes-of-god/doctrine-of-god-part-15/

³https://www.reasonablefaith.org/writings/question-answer/does-god-have-a-specific-marriage-partner-for-you/

Websites last accessed on 10^th June 2020.

Marriages Made In Heaven? What Happens If You Do Not Marry The Person of God’s Choice?

            The question “Are marriages made in heaven?” is akin to asking “Does God bring the right person for marriage into the life of a Christian?” or “Does God create two people (man and woman) specifically for each other?”

            The Bible suggests that God brings the right person into the lives of Christians for the purpose of marriage. The first marriage between Adam and Eve and Isaac’s marriage to Rebecca was ordained by God (Genesis 24). Proverbs 19:14 indicates God’s activity in bringing the right person into the life of a Christian for marriage, “…a congenial spouse comes straight from God.” (MSG). Matthew 19: 6 also suggests that God ordains a Christian marriage from the perspective that HE brings the right person to the Christian for marriage.

            Although God may choose the right person for us to marry, is it not possible for imperfect humans to disregard God’s choice for our own? Young Christian men and women seeking God’s will for their marriage (that God would show the person HE has chosen for them) is a common sight in the God-fearing stratum of Christendom. But how many Christians marry the person God has chosen for them?

            Building selfish preconditions into our marriage invariably purges God from our marriage equation. God, who commanded prophet Hosea to marry the adulterous Gomer, cannot be limited to our convenient whims and fancies.

            A mere glance into the selfish thoughts and plans driving the Christian marriages in the Indian subcontinent is an adequate proof of our whimsical convenience that eliminates God from the marriage preparations. Christians, in India, seek to marry people from their own caste or clan (e.g. same language groups). Casteism is man-made and is abhorrent in God’s sight. So God would not sternly command a man to marry a woman from within his own caste.

            There are those Christians, within and outside the Indian subcontinent, who seek to marry the affluent or the well educated. Other Christians seek educational harmony for marriage - a software engineer seeking to marry another software engineer or a doctor seeking to marry another doctor. Few Christians seek to marry only the beautiful / handsome member of the opposite sex. This list could go on and on.

            When our cozy and convenient preconditions determine our choice of spouse, God disappears from our marriage equation.

            Consider this theme from another vantage point. Do long-lasting and joyous Christian marriages imply a rigorous obedience to God’s choice of the marriage partners? If you think so, then I beg to differ. Why?

            Reflect on the non-Christian marriages that are happy and long-lasting. Obviously they neither sought nor obeyed the God of the Bible while choosing their spouse. Hence I conclude that the presence of happy and long-lasting non-Christian marriages provides adequate proof that all happy and long-lasting Christian marriages need NOT necessarily be a consequence of a righteous and a rigorous obedience to God.

            Then there is the tragic element of “drama or performance” in Christian marriages. There are Christian marriages that falsely portray an image of a godly or a loving union to their audience.

            Some Christian couples constantly quarrel for all things big and small. There are those who have not shared a same bedroom for years or decades! A few Christian couples do not love their spouse truly, but robotically live out their marriage for the sake of their children or for the sake of their reputation in the church / workplace / society. Without an iota of doubt, fraudulent Christian marriages exist in Christendom.

            The question we should ask is, “would God have architected such a fraudulent Christian marriage?” No!

            God desires that the husband love his wife and the wife submits to her husband. This is the Christian paradigm for marriage. Hence, God would not have architected a Christian marriage where love and submission are entirely missing.

            So to recap:

1. God brings the right person for marriage into the life of a Christian.

2. Sinful man’s imperfection could disregard God’s choice of spouse for his/her marriage.

2.1. Existence of happy and long-lasting Christian marriages need not necessarily indicate obedience to God’s choice of spouse.

2.2. Existence of fraudulent Christian marriages reveal man’s disregard of God’s choice of spouse for his marriage.

            The possibility of Christians disregarding God’s choice of spouse is overwhelming. Yet if a Christian married a person of God’s choice, it is still uncertain that their marriage would be innately joyous and without any trace of squabbles.

            Why?

            Imperfection of man and the possibility of devil’s attack on a Christian marriage could lead to instability. The [imperfect] husband and the wife, despite obeying God, need not be immune to Satan’s lure and temptations.

            The date and time of devil’s assault upon a Christian marriage will not be stated. Hence, Christian marriages cannot be so smug about its apparent stability.

            Presence of one spiritually weak partner in the Christian marriage is the perfect recipe for the devil to feast on the Christian marriage. The devil will manipulate and devour the weak link to ruin a Christian marriage.

            Yet if God’s protective hedge is upon a Christian marriage so to prevent the devil looting the Christian sanity from it, the possibility of man’s freewill usurping the stability of the marriage is plausible.

            Consider our present context that demands the employment of both the husband and the wife in a majority of urban Christian households. In such as situation, a Christian marriage would crumble if one partner transmits the anger and disappointment from their respective workplace into their marriage.

            Notwithstanding the devil and man’s freewill, it is normatively sufficient for a marriage to crumble because of an imperfect upbringing of either of the partners in the marriage. Consider the case of “anxious attachment” that causes jealousy and unduly worry in a partner that potentially leads to the demise of a marriage, “Anxious attachment is a way of describing the way some people connect with others — especially emotionally significant others — in their lives,” said Leslie Becker-Phelps, Ph.D, a clinical psychologist and speaker. Individuals with an anxious attachment believe they’re flawed, inadequate and unworthy of love, she said.

            Our attachment styles develop in infancy. Some infants perceive their parents as inconsistently available, which distressed them (understandably so, “children need their caregivers for their very survival”).

            When kids become distressed, their parents may give them extra attention. These kids also may receive attention when they meet others’ needs.

            Over time, “they develop a characteristic sense of feeling needy for attention and needing others to help soothe them,” said Becker-Phelps, author of Insecure in Love: How Anxious Attachment Can Make You Feel Jealous, Needy, and Worried and What You Can Do About It.

            Kids with an anxious attachment grow up to believe they need to earn others’ support and attention because they’re essentially flawed, she said. They believe they aren’t loved for themselves, but for what they do for others or how they respond to their needs.

            Naturally, such beliefs negatively affect their relationships. Anxiously attached individuals are often self-critical and regularly question themselves, which “can be tiring to friends and loved ones who try to be supportive.”

            They also cling to their relationships and get jealous easily. They expect others to leave them because, inevitably, they believe they’re going to disappoint others, said Becker-Phelps.”¹

            The writing on the wall is this; the Lord Jesus said, “Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (Matthew 6: 34c, NASB). So disagreements and troubles will be an inherent part of a Christian marriage whether the couple obeyed God or not.

            This is not an imperative to not seek God’s will in your marriage. But God’s will should be sought while choosing the spouse and married couples should constantly seek God to keep their marriages safe and alive.

            If you doubt whether you married the person of God’s choice, do not fret or fear. You can still make your marriage a success, if you both seek the Lord fervently. If your marriage is treading stormy waters, do not worry, but remain prayerfully steadfast in the Lord, who alone has the power to calm the storm.

Endnotes:

¹https://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2014/08/02/when-you-regularly-feel-insecure-in-your-relationship/, last accessed on 2^nd March 2017. 

C’mon Let A Christian Marry A Non-Christian????

            What’s wrong if a Christian marries a non-christian? If they marry, would their marriage be disastrous or would their children hate Christianity?

            A foundational verse quoted in this context is “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers…” (2 Corinthians 6: 14). A common faith in Christ is at the heart of a Christian marriage, they say.

            This is the backdrop. Conventional Christian teaching mandates Christians to NOT MARRY non-christians. If a Christian marries a non-christian, by implication, their marriage would be sinful and disastrous [1].

            This is the puzzle. Should a marriage between a Christian man & woman entail a healthy marriage?

            No! A marriage between a Christian man and a woman need not necessarily entail a healthy marriage.

            Why?

            Scores of non-christian marriages are healthy and successful. If non-christian marriages are successful, the condition that Christians ought to marry Christians could be discarded.

            The reality of many healthy, successful and strong non-christian marriages should remind Christians that the nametag “Christianity” does not unconsciously render a Christian marriage healthy.

            Committed religious belief, not necessarily Christianity, enables strong and successful marriages.  

            But, atheists, who deny God, also enjoy healthy marriages. So it is reasonable to conclude that committed irreligiosity does enable healthy marriages.

            Examine this situation from the perspective of divorce in Christian marriages. Scores of divorces and separations in Christian marriages testify that a Christian marriage could be disastrous.

            There are make-believe Christian marriages (that pretend as successful marriages). The husband and wife may not love each other but would merely be married for the sake of being married or may not talk to each other inside their homes. They may not share the same bed or could lead separate lives inside their home all the while posturing perfection in their marriage.

            Au contraire, Christians have married non-christians from time immemorial. Many such marriages are successful and healthy. Healthy marriages between Christians and non-christians serve as a testimony to the fact that a marriage between a Christian and a non-christian need not be disastrous.

            Therefore, isn’t a teaching that two Christians ought to marry for a healthy marriage an unacceptable teaching that is incoherent with the existential reality?

            We are not done! Observe this situation from another perspective.

            Very few Christians read their Bible daily. A recent study in America confirms that only 9% of Americans read their Bible daily [2]. This could very well be a fact in other countries as well.

            So if two Christians, who have not read their Bible or who do not love the Lord, get married, what are the chances that their marriage would be successful? Unless a conversion occurs during the marriage, their marriage should not survive according to the conventional Christian teaching. 

            But if their marriage is successful, it is not because of their religiosity. There never was any religiosity in them. Their marital success could be for the same reasons as to why marriages between atheists are successful!

            The problem would compound if one Christian partner loves the Lord dearly but the other Christian spouse is lukewarm or cold towards Christ. This is another favorable situation for potential marriage problems.

            Based on the existential realities of non-christian (atheists included) and even certain Christian marriages, a conclusion that a marriage between two Christians need not necessarily entail a healthy and successful marriage is valid.

            Therefore, the conventional Christian teaching that a Christian should marry another Christian for a healthy marriage could be rendered null and void.

            What if a sincere Christian who longs to get married cannot locate a Christian partner? What if this Christian is attracted to an opposite-sex-non-christian with admirable qualities worthy of a perfect fit as his/her soulmate? 

            What would be a sound biblical advice to this Christian? Would you advise him/her to marry the non-christian he /she is attracted to?

            “Focus on the Family,” an acclaimed Christian ministry that strives to strengthen a Christian marriage, qualify their teaching that a marriage between two Christians is more likely to be healthy through these words, “Many people who seriously practice a traditional religious faith – be it Christian or other – have a divorce rate markedly lower than the general population. The factor making the most difference is religious commitment and practice…Couples who regularly practice any combination of serious religious behaviors and attitudes…enjoy significantly lower divorce rates than mere church members, the general public and unbelievers…

            …Saying you believe something or merely belonging to a church, unsurprisingly, does little for marriage. But the more you are involved in the actual practice of your faith in real ways – through submitting yourself to a serious body of believers, learning regularly from scripture, being in communion with God though prayer individually and with your spouse and children, and having friends and family around us who challenge us to take our marriage’s seriously – the greater difference this makes in strengthening both the quality and longevity of our marriages. Faith does matter and the leading sociologists of family and religion tell us so”[3] (Emphasis Mine).      

            Therefore, a mere marriage between two Christians is surely not a recipe for a successful marriage.

            A Christian married to a non-christian could enjoy a healthy marriage from a worldly sense, but certainly not from a spiritual sense. When a Christian marries a non-christian, it is the Christian who would love the Lord. The non-christian spouse would not love the Lord Jesus. Hence this marriage could be easily damaged or broken by the Satan (cf. Ecclesiastes 4: 12). 

            A Christian marriage ought not to achieve the ordinary worldly success other marriages achieve; it ought to achieve greater spiritual success.

            Greater spiritual success in a Christian marriage gains precedence because Satan is active against a Christian marriage. The greater spiritual success for a Christian marriage is to individually and collectively grow in the Lord so to survive storms – small and large, and significantly lead the children to continuously love the Lord. Such a Christian marriage will glorify God.  

            To achieve greater spiritual success, the Christian family should love the Lord Jesus through the assimilation of HIS Word, love and submission to their spouse as Christ loved the church and as the church submits to Christ, and communion with fellow Christians. This is a surefire recipe for a greater spiritual success in a Christian marriage.

            There is greater power in a Christian marriage when both the husband and the wife love the Lord dearly, thus obey and glorify God through the ups and downs of the marriage. When they love the Lord dearly and are in constant communion with Christ, their marriage would be unbreakable.

            Finally, the disclaimer.

            This post is not to encourage Christians to marry non-Christians. It is wise to err on the side of caution than not.

            So a Christ-loving Christian ought to marry another Christ-loving Christian to achieve the greater spiritual success.

Endnotes:

[1] Every born-again Christian is a sinner. But he/she has been saved by the grace of God through faith in Christ. So a Christian married to a non-christian, although is a practicing sinner, will gain eternal life.

[2]http://www.raac.iupui.edu/files/2713/9413/8354/Bible_in_American_Life_Report_March_6_2014.pdf

[3] http://www.focusonthefamily.com/about_us/focus-findings/marriage/divorce-rate-in-the-church-as-high-as-the-world.aspx 

God’s Love is NOT Unconditional!

Jim Palmer said, “God’s Love is not a spigot that turns off and on based on how correct your theology is, how religious you are, or how far you've progressed on your growth journey. God IS Love, which means that at every moment God’s Love is the underlying, unchanging and fundamental reality. It does not fluctuate. It cannot be earned or lost. It is never threatened. God's Love is available to all people, all the time, everywhere, without condition...” (emphasis mine). I agree with Jim, but my understanding from the Bible is that God’s love is perspectively unconditional. In other words, God’s love is not totally unconditional. Let me attempt to submit my understanding here.

In the question, ‘is God’s love totally unconditional?’ the term ‘unconditional’ refers to the absence of limiting conditions. Does God love HIS people without any limiting conditions?

This subject is important to our life. Christian literature, on the subject of God’s love, teaches that God’s love is unconditional; hence man’s love for his fellow beings ought to be unconditional too. This being a fact, we need to understand the scope of God’s love, so to love each other similarly. The Bible mandates us to love each other as Christ loved us (John 15: 12). If Christ’s love for man is unconditional, then our love for each other should strictly follow Christ’s paradigm.

If love is totally unconditional, should we love evil? The Bible teaches that sincere love hates evil (Romans 12: 9, NIV). Because the Bible is replete with situations where God hated evil (Psalm 5:5, 11: 5; Proverbs 6: 16-19; Hosea 9: 15), there is the much needed consistency between Christ’s love and the Bible’s mandate for Christ’s disciple to hate evil. So, we conclude that as Christ hated evil, we ought to hate evil. We should hate Satan - the evil one. In other words, one cannot love evil and still love God, for God and evil are mutually opposing entities. Thus, hating evil / sin is a condition to sincere love.

When a condition to love is mandated, we infer that neither God’s love nor man’s, is totally unconditional. The Bible states that God loves good & evil, and righteous & unrighteous (cf. Matthew 5: 45). But HIS love for the unrighteous and the evil is only to offer their earthly provisions. Thus God’s love for the unrighteous and evil is within the perspective of their earthly living.

The unrepentant and unbelieving unrighteous man will remain in a perpetual state of evil, and so will not taste God’s provision of heaven (cf. John 3: 16 et al.). The Bible states that only the pure can ascend the eternal dwelling place of the Lord (Psalm 24: 3). Since all men are inherently evil (Job 15: 14; Proverbs 20: 9; Romans 3: 10), none can claim purity to gain heaven. To overcome this predicament, the perfect and sinless Christ sacrificed HIMSELF for the sake of the sinful mankind, so only those who BELIEVE in Christ would gain eternal life. Belief in God is mandatory to receiving the eternal benefits of God’s love. Thus, we observe another condition to God’s love, namely belief in HIM.

Although God loves men unconditionally that HE sacrificed HIMSELF to save them of their sins, God requires that man believe HIM, so to receive and enjoy HIS eternal provision of love. Without belief in God, man cannot receive all the benefits of God’s love, he can only receive some.

The Bible applies God’s love for man to the human marriage paradigm. The marriage between a man and a woman is analogous to the relationship between Christ and the church. Christ is analogous to the husband, and the church is analogous to the wife (Ephesians 5: 22-33).

Let’s pause for a moment to think through the starting point for the relationship between Christ and HIS body – the church. The church is a congregation of believers of the Lord - those who believe in Christ. If a man disbelieves in Christ, he is not part of the church. Hence, “belief” is a mandatory condition or the starting point in the relationship between Christ and HIS church.

The theology of God’s love is when man believes in God, he receives the benefits of both temporal (the needs of this world) and eternal provision (eternal coexistence with God in heaven) of God’s love for him. When man refuses to believe in God, he receives only the temporal provision of God’s love for him; he does not receive the eternal provision.

Significantly, when man believes in God, he begins to coexist with HIM (or remain in HIM – John 15). When man refuses to believe in God, he cannot coexist with HIM.

Thus the corollaries of ‘belief in man’s love for God’ are:

(1) Man cannot coexist with God without believing in HIM – belief in God is mandatory for coexistence with HIM.

(2) Without belief in God, man cannot receive the unmitigated expressions (temporal and eternal) of God’s love.

Applying this theology into the marriage paradigm fetches us similar conclusions to assert the importance of belief in a marriage to open the floodgates of love:

(1) If the partners of christian marriage believe in each other, their coexistence would be abundantly fruitful and peaceful. If one or both the partners of a marriage covenant fail to believe / trust each other, the marriage would crumble – coexistence of the partners will cease at a point in time, unless there is a divine intervention to effect a transformation – to reclaim the lost belief.

(2) If belief is existent in marriage, the partners would enjoy the total love of each other, and the unmitigated expressions of their love. If unbelief is existent in a marriage, then love, at best, would be partial. Half-baked love is a painfully conditional love, so love need not exist in a marriage where one partner does not believe the other.

Finally, I submit that God’s love is unconditional from God’s perspective, for HE has done everything, through the one-time sacrifice of the Lord Jesus, for a man to love, enjoy and live with HIM forever.

What about the condition of love to hate evil? There is no evil in God, so God and Satan are opposing entities. God only proposes good to all, but Satan disposes good to propose evil to all. Hence, God and Satan mutually exclude each other. If we are with God, we cannot be with Satan, and vice versa. Hence, hating evil / sin need not be construed as a condition but as a voluntary abandonment of evil, which is nonexistent in God and detested by HIM.

Is belief in God a condition to love God? Yes, belief in God is a condition to love God totally and to coexist with HIM unto eternity. One cannot escape this fact. Without believing God, man cannot love HIM. A wife cannot love her husband if she does not believe him and vice versa. If belief is mandatory to love, then for man to receive the unmitigated expressions of God’s love, is conditional upon his belief in God. Thus, God’s love is NOT unconditional from man’s perspective. (Man cannot love and eternally coexist with God without belief in HIM.)

In a friendly relationship, love can exist without or with partial existence of belief. But this love, at best, will only be superficial. Deep and long lasting friendships / relationships will only be a reality if there is strong mutual belief. Conversely, if belief in a relationship takes a beating, then the relationship is bound to dilute or crumble.

Thus, love is dependent on belief. Love cannot exist independent of belief. The greater the belief, the greater the love, and vice versa.

I pray that you and I will believe in the one God who gave us life through Jesus Christ to live with HIM unto eternity and love HIM with all our heart, mind, soul and strength. I also pray that in our human relationships, we will do our best, by the power of the blessed Holy Spirit, to believe our spouse /neighbor, so to establish strong and healthy relationships where godly love will reign supreme. Amen.